Heartbreaking week

Thursday, November 20, 2008.

I was having a play date with a friend. As I was packing up the girls, I received a call from my MIL (mother in law). I answered it, figuring it was one of the normal calls I get from her everyday. She was crying hysterically. She just said my name about 3 or 4 times. My heart dropped.

What happened.. she couldn't get the words out fast enough for me. I was panicking. She finally got the words out.

"Lisa was killed this morning. She was killed, Cynthia. She was in a car accident on the way home from dropping the kids off at school"

My stomach knotted up. I started shaking terribly. I could barely think straight. I told Diane that I would be home shortly and would help her in any way I could. She told me she was flying down to Mississippi with Lynne (her sister, Lisa's mother).

I immediately called Dusty. He hurried his work up and headed home.

This is unreal. It's so hard to really wrap my head around this.

Diane is my mother in law, Dusty's mom. She has 3 sisters and a brother. From my point of view, Diane is closest with Lynne. They seem to meet up at least once a week for breakfast and talk on the phone often. Probably every day. Lynne lives just minutes away. Lynne has 1 child. Lisa. Lisa has 2 children. Joey and Meghan. Lisa just moved to Mississippi with her kids last year. Her fiance was transferred through work.

Before they moved, we would get together for the kids birthday every year at Chuck E Cheese's. Joshua loved to play with them. It was always a small get together of close family members. I always enjoyed going and watching the kids have fun together. Last year, we celebrated Meghan's birthday and they moved shortly after that.

We didn't see Lisa and the kids again till this past July. They were excited to come meet the girls for the first time, and of course, play with Joshua too. I am so thankful we got pictures of Lisa and the girls. We will treasure them forever.

Here are a couple from that visit






The accident happened as Lisa was on her way home from dropping the kids off at school. Some one driving in the opposite direction swerved into Lisa's lane and hit her head on. Blunt force trauma to the chest. She died instantly. She was 39.

My heart aches. Lynne is without her only child. A daughter that was like a best friend. They talked every single day. Her poor babies are without their mother. Her fiance is without his love. Her family is without their niece and cousin. Her friends are without a friend that was full of energy, happiness and beauty. My heart just aches for all of them..and myself. But more importantly..them.

I can't shake the thoughts out of my head. I have thought about her and the kids, Craig, Lynne..everyone, for every second since this has happened. It makes no sense to me why things like this happen. What is the reason? Why should these kids grow up with out their mom? She was such a good mother. She was extremely involved in her kids lives, including her fiance's son. Apparently she was known as the "popcorn mom" at the kids school in Mississippi.

Watching all the events happen over this past week have really drained me. I am just so completely heart sick. Some of the stuff that has happened can only be described as a living nightmare. I can't even go into some of the details. But Joey and Meghan, please know that your family loves you so much. We are praying for you both.

To Craig, I can't even imagine the heart ache you are feeling. In a matter of seconds, his life was just torn apart as well. He lost his fiance and both of her kids. I cry just thinking of the silence in his house now.

To Lynne, you are going through something no parent should ever have to face. It's not right to have to bury your own child.

I cry for you, the kids, Craig and everyone affected by this.

I am scared of the same thing happening. I'm scared that my kids will lose me. Nobody should have to grow up with out their mom or their dad. Lisa was doing such a simple thing. Something I do every single day. Take the kids to school. It's scary. We just never know what will happen. In the blink of an eye, everything can change.

I just want to hold my family close and never let go.


p.s. just a note to those picture taking mommies and daddies..please make sure to jump into some photo shots too. especially with your loved ones. I have made sure and set my negative self-image aside and gotten into a few pictures of me and the kids this past week.